The Rules of Chocolate.

If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly.

Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices and strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.

The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store in a hot car. The solution: Eat it in the parking lot.

Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It'll take the edge off your appetite, and you'll eat less.

If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves.

If I eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, is that a balanced diet? Don't they actually counteract each other?

Money talks. Chocolate sings. Beautifully.

Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger. Therefore, you need to eat more chocolate.

Put "eat chocolate" at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you'll get one thing done.

A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Now, isn't that handy?

If you can't eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. But if you can't eat all your chocolate, what's wrong with you?

What was he thinking?!?!

Kirby Heyborne, star of such films as The RM, Singles Ward I & II, and The Best Two Years has recently been recognized by multiple people in a Miller beer commercial!


We know the Lord does prompt people to do the unorthodox from time to time, so I can only hope that this kamikaze maneuver as an LDS actor was prompted by the Lord himself.

If Mr. Heyborne decides to make an honest public statement that explains his tenetive career-suicide was motivated by anything other than inspiration from the Lord, he'll be done in LDS films. If it was motivated by direct heavenly revelation, god bless him in going forward in his LDS career.

Let's just hope he's not pulling a Richard Dutcher: silently denouncing his faith by participating in commercials and media that is completely contradictory to the LDS church's standards.